Sunday, September 25, 2005
Day 16: 1st Nephi 5-19: "Speak These Things and Deny Them Not" pgs 10-19
I told the Lord my 29th wedding anniversary is coming up. I thought I would have my husband converted 28 ½ years ago; that I want my husband, my children, my son and daughter-in-law and my grandchildren to come to Christ. I want my family to be missionaries to the Muslim people of the world. I realized I needed to seek God's will in my life. I needed to know if I should continue in this goal for my family, if this was a righteous goal, if it was his will for them too.
That is the key point. If it is not his will, then I can gracefully accept that and abandon my hopes without any guilt on my part. If it is his will that it should not happen now, then I must pray for patience and continue waiting and praying. If we share a common goal, then I need to know what I should do, say, or act with fearless dedication and confidence to bring our united goal to fruition.
This was some pretty serious stuff for my first attempt at heartfelt prayer. I'd say it was a success thanks to his guiding Spirit. I guess a key to a prayer relationship is not me talking, so much as me trying to find the Lord's will.
Yesterday's reading left me like, "Ho, hum, here we start again on a familiar journey." It was like a boring walk around the block…. But today's reading has left me jazzed. It's like I have walked out my front door and discovered a vast treasure in my front yard!
Today's reading was our first witness of Christ. Here we are just 17 pages into the Book of Mormon, and the life of Jesus Christ is plainly foretold by a prophet of God 600 years before it will happen. Just think, in 1st Nephi 10 Lehi lays out the Savior's life so plainly that none can miss the point that Jesus Christ is the Messiah, the Savior of the World, the Lamb of God, He who will be slain by the Jews, resurrected and made manifest unto the Gentiles, the Son of God.
I want to shout from the rooftops. I want to run out my apartment building, and give my testimony over the loudspeaker of the mosque behind my house. I want the entire world to know what I know and feel what I feel.
I want to be able to influence others with my testimony, yet sadly I realize that my influence is so weak, my writing so ineffective that my own family will ignore my feelings, my joy, my faith. They aren't home now, but soon my son and daughter will walk in from a day at work and school. I will hug them both with long embraces wishing I could transfer my knowledge, joy and testimony to them though my touch.
I wish I could testify and they would listen, that I could write and they would read. I wish that they would follow Nephi's advice:
1st Nephi 10:  And it came to pass after I, Nephi, having heard all the words of my father, concerning the things which he saw in a vision, and also the things which he spake by the power of the Holy Ghost, which power he received by faith on the Son of God -- and the Son of God was the Messiah who should come -- I, Nephi, was desirous also that I might see, and hear, and know of these things, by the power of the Holy Ghost, which is the gift of God unto all those who diligently seek him, as well in times of old as in the time that he should manifest himself unto the children of men.
 For he is the same yesterday, to-day, and forever; and the way is prepared for all men from the foundation of the world, if it so be that they repent and come unto him.
 For he that diligently seeketh shall find; and the mysteries of God shall be unfolded unto them, by the power of the Holy Ghost, as well in these times as in times of old, and as well in times of old as in times to come; wherefore, the course of the Lord is one eternal round.
 Therefore remember, O man, for all thy doings thou shalt be brought into judgment.
 Wherefore, if ye have sought to do wickedly in the days of your probation, then ye are found unclean before the judgment-seat of God; and no unclean thing can dwell with God; wherefore, ye must be cast off forever.
 And the Holy Ghost giveth authority that I should speak these things, and deny them not. ***
The mosque is giving the call to prayer and I am crying because I have a call to Christ, but I must hold it inside. I wonder if what I have written today is enough to get me kicked out of the country if the wrong people discover it, but I don't care. If I can't say it or shout it from the rooftops, I have to put it into cyber-space for my testimony burns in my heart and I cannot deny it.